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Psychology Today defines “empty nest syndrome” as the “distress” and “other complicated emotions” parents tend to feel when their children leave home. It’s a pretty common phenomenon for moms and dads because after 18+ years, their hatchlings have flown the coop. And … now what?
A lot of celebrities have gotten candid about those “complicated emotions” when their own kids left home. They’ve talked about the tearful goodbyes and the countdowns to epic reunions. But when I spoke with Jennie Garth, she had a completely different — and wholly refreshing — outlook.
The Beverly Hills, 90210 star is the proud mom of three girls — Luca, 26, Lola, 21, and Fiona, 17 — who she shares with ex-husband Peter Facinelli. She’s [theoretically] on the brink of having a completely empty nest, and so when I broached the touchy subject, I was prepared for tears.
But I was met with near-nonchalance.
Why? Because Garth lucked out with gender norms.
“They don’t ever leave,” she tells SheKnows exclusively while partnering with Planet Oat. “That’s the truth. Girls never leave — they always come back to Mom.”
Garth was “a lot more concerned” before Luca left but has since learned that her girls won’t be gone forever. “It’s an adjustment for sure,” she says. “Because I have to back up in order to let them learn … but it gets easier once you see that they’re making smart choices and that they’re able to fly on their own.”
The Deep Thoughts From a Hollywood Blonde author says she doesn’t understand the typical “empty nester” concept or connotation — “Because they always need you!” — and says the process doesn’t have to be dramatic. This stage of life doesn’t have to be filled with sadness and longing. It can be a time of pride and new beginnings. In fact, she wants to come up with a new term for this phase. “Flying free,” perhaps?!
“It’s such a great time at that age to start sort of reinventing yourself and figuring out what the f*ck you want for the rest of your life,” she says. “… It’s actually a really exciting time, if people can wrap their mind around that then they’re going to be good to go.”
And if you’re now wondering what the f*ck Garth is doing with the rest of her life, there are some hush-hush things in the works that she can’t talk about quite yet. What she can talk about now is all the ways families can live healthier lives. It’s a passion of hers and the reason why she partnered with Planet Oat.
The oatmilk company will have pop up “Better Reset with Planet Oat” coffee carts serving free coffee (!!!) in New York City, Boston, Los Angeles, Chicago, Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia on March 11 to help relieve any Daylight Savings dreariness.
“I love spreading the word about the word about being having a healthy lifestyle,” she says. “It’s one of my favorite things to talk about. Because I’m a super, super healthy person. We [have a] pretty much plant-based [diet] in our house. I really feel like it is the future for people that want to have a grasp on their health.”
Pro tip from Garth: If you’re looking to work dairy alternatives like oat milk into your kids’ diet, start by using it in your baking. Who can tell the difference?
More On Motherhood
Garth may be embracing her empty nester days (flying free days?!), but don’t get it twisted — she’s still incredibly sentimental about the early days of motherhood. And to say I was shocked to hear what she misses most about when her daughters were little would be a massive understatement.
“I miss the diaper days,” she says.
Diapers!
Jennie Garth misses diapers! She was just watching TV, and the same ad for Pampers came on during every commercial break.
“By the third time I saw that commercial, I was like teary about putting Pampers on my baby’s butts. I just love everything about the little Velcro and opening it up and putting it on,” she says, pantomiming the action. “It’s my favorite.”
So if she misses diapers, is there anything the co-host of 90210MG! doesn’t miss?! Well, there’s certainly something she could do without.
The eye rolls. Sometimes the eye rolls and attitude from her daughters can make Garth feel like she’s in a Lifetime movie. But, alas, that all tends to come with the teenager territory. Just like watching Beverly Hills, 90210 is a rite of teenage passage! Garth’s daughters each watched the show — “On the DVD box set!” — and reportedly came out of it with a newfound respect for their mom.
“Like, ‘Wow, my mom’s pretty rad,'” Garth says.
As for what “team” they’re on, Garth says they’re “Team Kelly all day long.” Because how could they not support their mom? As for the love interests of the show, Garth isn’t sure if her daughters are Team Brandon or Team Dylan.
“I don’t even know which team I’m on,” she says. “All these years later, I still can’t decide.”
“I’m gonna go with I choose me again,” she says. The perfect mantra for every “empty nester” or mom “flying free.”
